Discounting
Background image Jimmy Fermin
Special discount
Not in the sale-sense this kind of discount occurs when we feel powerless. Note: When we feel powerless, often not when we are powerless. When we discount, we choose not to recognise (or count) information that may contain a solution. When we’re in a tricky spot and we’re unsure what to do, it’s really easy to start discounting in the hope it will get us our desired end-result. Spoiler alert, this never happens. Discounting’s uselessness is illustrated by the ‘passive action’ we take when we do it. Oxymoron inside and out, deep down we know this ain’t action at all. Passive action comes in 4 sizes.
What we discount
Confronted with a challenge and not sure how to cope? There are 3 elements we can discount:
1. The stimulus, cause or root of the problem 2. The problem at hand 3. The options available to us.
Let’s whack in an example and avoid a headfuck. Say we’re an argument with our roomie about washing up. The stimulus = nobody washing up ricochet’s into a pile of dirty dishes and brewed negative energy. The problem = includes anything from not having any clean crockery to one person feeling like the sole washer-upper. The potential options we have = vast, ranging from sharing the cleaning duties fairly and equally, washing up after oneself on an individual basis, buying a dishwasher or hiring in a cleaning service etc. We may discount or choose not to recognise any of the above.
How we discount
In any situation, we can discount the stimulus, problem and our options, and we do so different ways. We may discount the existence of them altogether, the significance of them to us, the possibility to change them and/or our ability to act on them:
Discounting their existence = simply denying or choosing to ignore their presence altogether.
Discounting their significance = being seemingly nonchalant (perhaps when it comes to a lack of clean cutlery in The Washing Up Saga).
Discounting change = opting for an ‘and that’s that’ mentality, rather than contemplating a solution through change.
Discounting our ability = ignoring our own capacity, agency or power in a situation.
Change, how to?
In order for change to occur, individuals need to have control over that change, it has to be relevant to the context and performance agenda, and individuals need to be interested in delivering the change.
- Cognitive Behavioural Coaching in Practice, 2013
Next time you’re feeling stuck in the mud, don’t passively discount, consider instead ~
The control you have over the stimuli, problem itself or options available to you (tune into their existence and the power you have over them).
Now ask how relevant they are to you (what’s their significance? How much are they affecting you?)
Then recognise that change is always an option (how much do you want things to change?)
Finally tap into the ability you have to make the required change (you got this).
When there’s something that needs remedying if your aim is to prolong it, by all means discount away friend! Become as passive as you like. Hey, get some passive action in the mix! Do nothing, overadapt, get agitated or mad fucked up. You will have to sit in the knowledge that the problem persists. Painful, annoying, niggling, it’s still there.
Sadly, the longer you delay taking (real) action, the bigger the problem becomes and the harder it’ll be to crack. The power’s in your hands. Become aware of what’s really going on. Personally, I choose to pay the full problem-solving price, fuck the discount thanks.
